Sorry for the sparky post title but I just need a free-flow rant.
I am getting married in three weeks tomorrow.
I should be excited right?
Well I am not.
My original wedding was meant to be by the sea in Cornwall. It is near where I grew up and I loved it. But everyone complained about how far it was and how unfair to expect people to drive..so I changed that wedding plan completely. I changed it to a place near where we live. I like that place but it isn't in any way special like the other place. Not to worry, I can make it special with the music and the people I want there, right?
I had to invite tons more people than I wanted. I am not happy about that but it is what everyone else wants, so I smile and say ok and think, I can make that special by wearing something that makes me feel more comfortable and less nervous in front of all those people, right?
No, because of my stupid boobs. I have tried and bought three (cheap) dresses now and they all look awful. I have no dress..not to worry, I will find one in three weeks and my chest will somehow shrink in time...at least I have a nice hen night to go to this weekend, right?
No. my hen night would've been nice but everyone (apart from two friends and mother and two sister-in-laws) has bailed on me. one is preggo and feels ill, one is working her first day at a new job, one is having her hair done for a wedding, one is having a sad family situation (that one is fair enough) and the other 9 people I invited didn't even bother to reply, not to the invite, the reminder nor the personal email. so, I cancelled it...never mind, I have my lovely wedding reception by the river to look forward to right?
No. because the venue I was going to have it in emailed me yesterday with THREE weeks left and told me they had to cancel.
So, I have no dress, no hen night, no anything I need for a wedding reception. No money as I have lost it all in deposits and can't change the dates..and a heavy heart.
Without being a total (excuse the language) selfish twat about it..why do these sort-of things always happen to me? I feel like I am being TESTED.
I know it could be worse, there are many more things in this world to be upset about and I know I am being selfish and pathetic and it doesn't matter and I WILL make it a nice day, I know all of that, it will be ok..BUT, just for now, in a really shallow, selfish way. I feel gutted, and sad, and friendless and let down.
WHAT THE EFF am I going to do?